My ass would hurt if I had sex with her
She’s a top only. Other problem is, she’s in Africa. I could get a one way ticket to Africa, then get a one way ticket to the hospital.
There's women with butts as ugly as mine?
Apparently. I’m not talking about hair. Talking about flatness. Her upper body is fine. As long as she doesn’t want doggy style, it’ll be f...
80 year old virgin
If I live to be 80, I’ll have that title in the nursing home. Not for long, an old lady and/or nurse, will fix that.
They either want a dick smaller then mine, or bigger
How did I get such an unlucky number? My cock is one inch to big. Then again, it might be smaller, from the weight gained. Something on the news a long time ...
Why send me lesbian spam email?
Oh wait, might not be dating spam. If it was dating, I’m not a woman.
That's what dreaming is for
You’ll get as many girlfriends as you want by dreaming. I usually have two. We all sleep in the same bed. One of them was plowing me with a strap on. I...
What's wrong with liking dicks?
I think her name is Kelly, she asked her brother Jack that. He didn’t answer. That was on Ozzy’s and Jack’s World Detour.
How do women get a crush on somebody they don't know?
She clearly didn’t read this blog, as she’d show zero interest in me if she did. I almost never see her anymore. It’s easier to get a crush...
Sex isn't a need
Spanking your monkey probably isn’t either. Because something feels good, doesn’t make it a need. If you won’t die without it, it isn’...
A TV isn't a trans woman either
Isn’t that some kind of cross dresser? Yup cross dresser, and apparently most aren’t homosexuals, according to Urban Dictionary. Are most bi then...
She isn't attractive anyways
I thought she was once. That is one time I saw her. She hates me now. It’s a good thing. You know who’s attractive? Some woman I saw at Walmart.
Where do I find those women?
I keep dreaming about them. But I don’t know who they are, or where they are.
You know what feels good?
Getting your ass eaten out. How do I know? A woman was doing that to me in my dream. Think she was sucking my cock at first, then she wandered down to my ass...
I don't look at porn because of OCD
My dick would hurt if I did that. I look at porn to get off. If you do it every other day, or every two days, it won’t take long. You also might not ne...